Dungeons 3

I think I’ve realised why I don’t like RTS games. …Oh, whoops, jumped the gun a bit-

The first thing you’ll notice about DungeonKeepers 3 is that it’s narrated by Kevan Brighting, who you’ll know from The Stanley Parable. Immediately we’re off to a good start, and the narration and humour present throughout D3 is most certainly one of its selling points.

Now back to that thing about RTS games-

I like base building, I like army building, and I like directing combat. The part I don’t like is having to do all of these things at the same time. Age Of Empires games would often wind up with a group of villagers all standing uselessly around an empty gold mine waiting for me to direct them to the gold mine half a screen to the right of them, because I was too busy commanding my troops.

This is, of course, a weakness in me, not in the genre, but it is a weakness Dungeons 3 capitalises on by adding a management sim on top of the pile. Gotta keep the troops fed and beered or they go on strike during combat, and the only way to do that is to go back underground and manage my theme park dungeon, leaving the soldiers on the topside to figure themselves out.

It’s just too much. Too many things to keep control of at once. I can’t deal with it.

Fin or Bin:

My own failings aside, however, I can tell this is a well-designed RTS with a great sense of humour about things. Maybe when it’s not winter and I have my spirit back, I’ll have the capacity to deal with things that might otherwise exhaust me, and I’d like to try it again then, but for now it’s going in the Recycle Bin.


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