Project CARS

Back when I were a wee lad, I remember playing Gran Tourismo 3 on the PS2 and enjoying it. It was a fit of nostalgia for that game which led me to acquiring Project CARS- a similar vein of realistic racing simulator for modern times. Of course, I then never played it- in the meantime, buying a used copy of GT3 and playing through that about a year ago.

Well, some things are best left to nostalgia, and I was left cold. Now, don’t misunderstand- GT3 is obviously a very well put-together product and an enjoyable time for the right kind of person.

I am very much not the right kind of person.

I don’t have the patience for actual racing. In most racing games, you could remove the Brake button entirely and it probably wouldn’t change my performance much. As for racing lines, swerving wildly from side to side and cutting every corner I can is the name of the game. With that in mind, GT3 and I didn’t get along very well.

Project CARS, then, and immediately before booting it up I see there’s an achievement for creating your own pit crew strategy, and I realise I’ve made a mistake. So I set it to Baby Mode, changed the AI to Braindead (you can scale it from 1 to 100- straight down to 1 it went), and managed to squeak a couple of wins. But playing it that way is kind of missing the point, isn’t it?

I still managed to get some Beebs-brand fun out of it, though. Started a new career as professional sports racer F. Eggwegegegeeeggg, entered the highest ranking championship available, got in my million-dollar car, and trashed the hell out of it. I managed to clean snap off both of my front wheels, lose front and rear bumpers, and shatter my windshield before my pit boss told me off for going outside of the track lines.

Fin or Bin:

Man, if only I was going to Fin this. Think of all the amazing ‘Finish Line’ jokes I could make. But, much like the car they gave me, it’s going in the Bin.